You probably learned in massage school how you will have to deal with other people’s issues and try not to let them effect you. This is something that is easier said than done at times. We come to care deeply for our clients and know so much about their lives, pain and happy times. I think it should be something that we remind ourselves of everyday that we need to be conscious of our clients transference and ours onto them as well. You might give a great massage one day but your client feels like it was lacking. This could be because they are just in a bad mood or pissed off about something their husband or wife had said at breakfast. This would be transference. There is negative transference and there is also positive transference. Lets compare the two.
- Positive Transference
This would be when a client has special affection or adoration or deference towards us. Clients can feel as if they are small and relatively insignificant and we are large and benevolent. You’ll see this when clients have innocent crushes on you or are in awe of you and think that you are special and wonderful. Which of course you are but hopefully you know what I mean!
We see negative transference in client who mistrust us without good reason, who expect us to hurt or criticize them. Here is an example so you can better understand what I’m trying to say:
You have a new client who is nervous and asking an unusual number of questions about your qualifications. During the bodywork session the client pulls back at the slightest hint of discomfort. Later, they reveal that abuse was part of their childhood.
This may give you the feeling like you did something wrong, but assuming your client was welcomed into the same safe environment that you welcome all of your other clients lets you know that it isn’t about you. Negative transference is no more about us than positive transference. Human nature being what it is, we often see negative transference as the client’s problem, as some kind of character defect, yet we see positive transference as a natural response to our winning personality or exceptional skills.
You can’t always know what your client is thinking or feeling and there is always transference happening, usually both forms at some point during the professional relationship. Or in any relationship honestly. Just be aware that clients are giving extra weight to what we say and do.
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